boy am i glad to be home again.....
the afternoon was a bit difficult in other ways, ways i wasn't quite expecting...
picked up ballarat paul from work... had some lovely compliments from nicole about my attire which was nice of her - she's a stunner so it's a bit of an ego boost for me (there ya go nicole hehehe)
so off we trodded to the pub where the bears were finishing up their lunching antics
mark gave me a couple of big squeezy hugs which was very nice of him - he's good at those - so good that in fact he's cracked a few ribs in his time.....
there was a vacant seat next to andrew at the end of the table closest to the exit, so i figured that was a perfect spot for me to sit - he's was sitting next to ian and i knew him too, so it was a bit of a comfort to sit near a couple of friends...
still found it a bit awkward though, i still struggle to make eye contact for longer than 0.0005 seconds with another person - i just can't do it...
as they started to say their goodbyes, one guy walked up and said "who's this delicious man?" at me... so that again made things a bit awkward for me... guess it's the incredibly shy part of me that reigns supreme in that situation...
once the last of the bears left for home, it was just me, paul and a couple who were down from maryborough... they had another couple of drinks whilst chatting about various things - stuff in america, canada, where paul grew up, where these guys had travelled to, classical music, gardening etc
it was quite interesting to listen to it... i really had not much to say about anything - by this stage i think i was just starting to shut down and not be able to cope with it... paul talked about kicking on to another wine bar in town and i said i might go for a drink, but i later said i needed to get home to attend to a few more things so i'd be able to drop them there and that was about it...
after this point, one of the couple started to just stare at me for the remainder of the conversation..... if it wasn't bad enough that i normally had issues making eye contact with someone, it certainly made it intensely difficult having someone staring at me for a good 10 minutes or so...
as we stood up to head off, i let the others walk ahead, but this guy sorta hung back a bit while i was putting on my jacket and asked if everything was ok with me? (whilst looking directly into my eyes.....)
i just said that i was fine and everything was ok... i thought about talking about how i find it difficult to deal with people in social situations, but thought against it when i realised i had boxes in my back seat so thought that was a good opportunity to dart out and clear a space for them to sit in the back seat lol
after i dropped them off, i drove away to head home - and that's when i realised i had been holding a tight gut from the tension i was feeling - almost like i'd been holding my breath for about an hour..... i let it go and started to breathe normally once again and told myself it was ok cause it was all over and i was safe alone in my truck again lol
i'm trying hard not to think about the impending trip to portugal, but if i'm real about it - i am going to struggle with the amount of people i'm going to be dealing with in a rather short time...
and my roaming global sim card still isn't working yet, so i'm going to have to chase it up this week cause i need to be able to access facebook and blogging while i'm away as my escape mechanism from the real world around me lol
red curry was nice but i should've put a chilli in it... there wasn't much kick at all - though the drake kaffir lime leaves were beautiful in it :-)
now i might have a cup of tea and some cookies to finish off the weekend... don't think much of the washing will be dry yet so i'll deal with it tomorrow after work.....
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