busy, busy day today
love em that way, running around, doing multiple things, getting shit sorted out and organised - that's me to a tee, i'm in my element when i can sort things out and get things organised....
so i've been paid overnight but i haven't looked at my bank account... i try to avoid it as much as possible these days...
it sorta reminds me of my best mate who used to (dunno, maybe he still does today!) do the same thing... never wanted to see his bank balance, always asked me to check cause he really didn't want to be depressed by it lol
used to think he was being quite silly about it all... and ridiculous...
funny thing is, i completely understand it now... for me, it's one of those 'ignorance is bliss' moments...
i don't want to see what little i have, cause it's sad to see it that way... but also, it's one of those things, if i know what's there, it'll probably get spent a lot quicker than if i didn't know it was there to begin with.....
and then there's the whole dating thing... just made me wonder today about whether it's better to know what to expect, or what the rules are, or if it's best to be ignorant about it and just go along with it and see how things pan out.....
for me, personally, i don't think i could say i've ever been on a proper 'date' - but then, what is a 'proper date'? is there a guide on it? or is it up to the interpretations of those being involved in the date...
tell a lie actually, i think with my last partner, i had a couple of 'dates' - catch up for dinner, drinks at the pub etc....
i guess i quite enjoy that part of connecting with people, i.e. catching up for food or drinks.... well food mainly.... and more food....
that's probably where my stale mate is at the moment with socialising with people as well - trying to define what is a social catch up, what is a date, what is more than a date etc etc so it becomes easier just to shut off from all of it so i don't have to worry about any rules, or any other person's feelings etc... bit selfish really isn't it? but i need the practise cause i've always been thinking of others before myself for almost all my life.....
i suppose in that way, it's similar to my thoughts on my own bank account... blocking out the thoughts of what's in there so i don't have to worry about what it's lacking or what i should be buying...
wow, did you think i could pull a similarity between feelings on dates and bank accounts?
i really didn't think i could lol
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